what an almighty idiot
Jan. 28th, 2024 10:22 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ironicallyelijaheli anxiety posting incoming:
its kinda scary how much i just. forget. all the time. i forget extremely critical information about myself or things that happened. and like yeah most of them make sense bc they were associated with an extremely traumatic part of my life but like. good god, i forgot so much from less than a year ago. so many messages and conversations and interactions just erased from my brain, and i cant even recognize them when confronted with them. the only proof i have of them being real is them being literally documented through texts.
also since cutting ties with certain people im just. extremely lonely. im grateful to have so many wonderful sweet kind friends, many of whom ive known for more than half a decade, but i got so used to just. being on vc with people every day. when i got a new interest or obscure thing i wanted to watch, id watch it with them. we'd have the most insane banter over the most random things. i cut them off for a good reason but i still miss them and its an awful feeling. idk how to like. fix that, other than try to talk to my current friends more or just. make more friends. wah.
really the best and healthiest thing to do would be to fully log out of my old discord account and stop reading through old messages but i cant help it.
its kinda scary how much i just. forget. all the time. i forget extremely critical information about myself or things that happened. and like yeah most of them make sense bc they were associated with an extremely traumatic part of my life but like. good god, i forgot so much from less than a year ago. so many messages and conversations and interactions just erased from my brain, and i cant even recognize them when confronted with them. the only proof i have of them being real is them being literally documented through texts.
also since cutting ties with certain people im just. extremely lonely. im grateful to have so many wonderful sweet kind friends, many of whom ive known for more than half a decade, but i got so used to just. being on vc with people every day. when i got a new interest or obscure thing i wanted to watch, id watch it with them. we'd have the most insane banter over the most random things. i cut them off for a good reason but i still miss them and its an awful feeling. idk how to like. fix that, other than try to talk to my current friends more or just. make more friends. wah.
really the best and healthiest thing to do would be to fully log out of my old discord account and stop reading through old messages but i cant help it.