RANDOM ELIJAH UPDATE LALALALA
Jul. 8th, 2025 11:49 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ironicallyelijahsorry i really like posting out of nowhere lolll
ANYWAYS i got a job FINALLY. i'm a busboy at a little diner like 10 minutes from my house. even though im 19 this is my first job, ive been trying to get one since i was 15 but because of the fact that id be visiting my dads on weekends no one wanted me :(
actually got a job is a bit of a stretch, technically im still in training so im not being paid anything, i just get a percentage of tips
i might start just yapping/ranting about how it's been there because im a pathetic wet creature and i keep doing things wrong because people dont show me how to do anything (or are just inconsistent. a la napkin placement) and it makes me want to crumble into a thousand tiny pieces and explode.
training isnt paid but also i make my own hours (i can come in whenever i leave whenever) and also they cook me food on my breaks so honestly i dont mind.
im less stressed about everything than i was yesterday (yesterday i was so anxious i lost my appetite and genuinely thought i was running a fever) but ill copy and paste the list of annoyances i made for sillies.
-my coworkers really dont seem to like me very much (esp the people my age)
-middle aged french coworker named laura kept trying to hit on me and i didnt know what to do so i just hung around the tables
-i actually hung around the tables a lot to avoid being near the coworkers because they Terrify me
-all the coworkers were like "LAURA 👿 do NOT hit on this one... hes just a boy..............." and laura was twirling her hair like "teehee ^_^"
-she kept. grabbing my shoulders. people grabbing my shoulders is one of my biggest triggers/sensory overwhelm, especially when its from behind
-everyone seems frustrated that i have a hard time remembering how to do things i was only shown how to do once
-people keep telling me to do things and are surprised and annoyed when i dont know where things are (i didnt know the three other places to refill ice ❤️🩹)
-i took a bowl of creamers from a table because the customers said i could but the manager was like "no. youre not supposed to do that." so i had to stand awkwardly behind this one other busboy for like half an hour to shadow him and he was reteaching me things i already knew how to do and i felt like i was bothering him by just trailing behind him everywhere but if i wasnt with him for more than a minute the manager would get mad
-there is a rotating polycule of managers. two of them like me, one doesnt. he stands around the diner for hours pinching the bridge of his nose and looking so violently stressed it spreads to me as well.
-every second of the last 72 hours ive been violently stressed about possibly breaking silverware. i am still stressed about it at this very second
-im really bad at serving drinks on the platters because of the weight distribution and last time i used one i spilled this woman's pepsi i was trying to serve to her and they told me to mop it but i didnt know where the mop was and they didnt tell me ❤️🩹
-this incident was nearly repeated with hot coffee
-i havent even seen the diner be busy (both days were apparently slow days) so im Terrified.
-i am not paid for any of this. i am only paid in tips. for working a combined 12 hours ive only made like $50 (thats really really bad)
-essentially i have to prove really hard to the manager that i am competent enough to be left alone to my own devices, but im worried about how bad i am at serving drinks. (also i have a hard time remembering when people tell me which drinks to serve and to which table ❤️🩹 )
-tldr i dont give a gaf about any of this and im not complaining, ill do anything for money, ill just also be violently stressed out and overwhelmed about it. my chemically imbalanced brain wasnt built for diner servicing
ANYWAYS i got a job FINALLY. i'm a busboy at a little diner like 10 minutes from my house. even though im 19 this is my first job, ive been trying to get one since i was 15 but because of the fact that id be visiting my dads on weekends no one wanted me :(
actually got a job is a bit of a stretch, technically im still in training so im not being paid anything, i just get a percentage of tips
i might start just yapping/ranting about how it's been there because im a pathetic wet creature and i keep doing things wrong because people dont show me how to do anything (or are just inconsistent. a la napkin placement) and it makes me want to crumble into a thousand tiny pieces and explode.
training isnt paid but also i make my own hours (i can come in whenever i leave whenever) and also they cook me food on my breaks so honestly i dont mind.
im less stressed about everything than i was yesterday (yesterday i was so anxious i lost my appetite and genuinely thought i was running a fever) but ill copy and paste the list of annoyances i made for sillies.
-my coworkers really dont seem to like me very much (esp the people my age)
-middle aged french coworker named laura kept trying to hit on me and i didnt know what to do so i just hung around the tables
-i actually hung around the tables a lot to avoid being near the coworkers because they Terrify me
-all the coworkers were like "LAURA 👿 do NOT hit on this one... hes just a boy..............." and laura was twirling her hair like "teehee ^_^"
-she kept. grabbing my shoulders. people grabbing my shoulders is one of my biggest triggers/sensory overwhelm, especially when its from behind
-everyone seems frustrated that i have a hard time remembering how to do things i was only shown how to do once
-people keep telling me to do things and are surprised and annoyed when i dont know where things are (i didnt know the three other places to refill ice ❤️🩹)
-i took a bowl of creamers from a table because the customers said i could but the manager was like "no. youre not supposed to do that." so i had to stand awkwardly behind this one other busboy for like half an hour to shadow him and he was reteaching me things i already knew how to do and i felt like i was bothering him by just trailing behind him everywhere but if i wasnt with him for more than a minute the manager would get mad
-there is a rotating polycule of managers. two of them like me, one doesnt. he stands around the diner for hours pinching the bridge of his nose and looking so violently stressed it spreads to me as well.
-every second of the last 72 hours ive been violently stressed about possibly breaking silverware. i am still stressed about it at this very second
-im really bad at serving drinks on the platters because of the weight distribution and last time i used one i spilled this woman's pepsi i was trying to serve to her and they told me to mop it but i didnt know where the mop was and they didnt tell me ❤️🩹
-this incident was nearly repeated with hot coffee
-i havent even seen the diner be busy (both days were apparently slow days) so im Terrified.
-i am not paid for any of this. i am only paid in tips. for working a combined 12 hours ive only made like $50 (thats really really bad)
-essentially i have to prove really hard to the manager that i am competent enough to be left alone to my own devices, but im worried about how bad i am at serving drinks. (also i have a hard time remembering when people tell me which drinks to serve and to which table ❤️🩹 )
-tldr i dont give a gaf about any of this and im not complaining, ill do anything for money, ill just also be violently stressed out and overwhelmed about it. my chemically imbalanced brain wasnt built for diner servicing
no subject
Date: 2025-07-09 12:33 pm (UTC)Yeah if you're not happy enough with it I'd still be applying for jobs that have more consistent pay. Having a current job to put on your resume is really helpful and should also help you a lot!! (it sounds bad but it shows that you are "hireable" because recruiters are leeches)
no subject
Date: 2025-07-10 05:52 pm (UTC)thanks for that advice though :> hopefully i dont have to jump ship immediately, but ill def keep this in mind :0